Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Wake up call....

Yesterday in my government class I caught myself nodding off. Don’t get me wrong, the teacher is pretty entertaining and has a cool style I can learn from. The problem I have is my sleep schedule being totally out of whack from my vacation last week. It always happens but this is the first time it has happened when I was in school and it worried me. After class I wait for my ride and think that I should go home and get some sleep. I’m not in the car two seconds and catch this smell that is just awful. Not sure what it was but didn’t care until we were sitting idle in the turn lane and noticed smoke coming from the edge of the hood. Picking up something to eat was out and getting home in one piece was the priority. We get home just in time to see the coolant light come on. That was a close one.

I get in and start my first blog on here. I decided on “Omega” by Cory Taylor of Slipknot and Stonesour fame because of the feelings I share with this poem. Just hearing it is badass because of the performance art-like style it invokes. Whenever I hear or read it I get this feeling of anger and depression. I use to think about it all the time at my previous job and I’m just now starting to think of it at my current paycheck provider. The line that gets me the most is, “Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?” Each time I say it, read it, or hear it a nerve is struck and I rethink my life and what I want to do with it. I want to make video games, or be involved in some form of creative process. That’s what I’ve always wanted…To serve a purpose….

So I spent most of the day on WoW and I go to sleep at 9 PM. I wake up around 6 AM in sheer panic. It’s dark and I’m disoriented from the whole ordeal. My phone is going crazy from text messages, about six in total, and I check them all and respond the best I can. They just keep coming even now as I type this. My day will consist of helping a friend install a new PC, going to class, then heading to my friend Izzy’s house for R & R. A full package of a day considering I have morning classes tomorrow AND reset my sleep schedule for work tomorrow night. All in a day’s work….

1 comment:

newwavepop said...

my name is shannon, thank you for the help.
here a part of the song factory by wall of voodoo that i think has the same effect on me.

(now i've brought the same piece of chicken in a bag to work everyday
for the last twenty years or so
and i really don't mind, work assembly line
got an intercom blasting the news and the latest on the baseball scores
come around every friday, well i get a paycheck
take the same road home that i come to work on, heck, it's a living

and i got another factory at home
got a barbeque, pink mustang, fenders chrome
and at nine o'clock i sit there in my chair
and i don't know why i lose my hair
and then i go to / and then i go to / and then i go to sleep)

ill cut it off here because i can go on forever about my dissatisfaction with survival as someone that doesnt have connections and resources.